today has been a lucky day.
got an offer from bristol.



Pressure of the future, too much for today
How many hours will I let slip away
Before I realize existing and living
Are not the same

balta drobulė man nepatiko, bet rašyti kitokiu stiliumi, nei minčių srautas, aš tiesiog nemoku.

or will you?

a walk to school in the morning is not a perfect time for a meltdown, I can assure you.



this song made everything so awful and I still can't stop listening to it.

the main thing why I suddenly got so sad lies between the lyrics of this song  "If it wasn't for you, I'd be alone". Considering that the whole wave of studying abroad is extremely low at this time and almost every single one of my friends are staying here, made me rethink my future. I know that I don't want to study here. But if I leave, I'll be completely on my own. I know I'm dreaming of days like grabbing old romance book from a vintage bookstore and reading it at Starbucks, but even if I'll have days like this... What about the times, when all my friends back here will be going out to parties where beat-makers are their friends, where the music is known and listened together? I don't know what is ahead of me.
bijau.
labai.

nustok sproginėt

5th of January. Tomorrow is the 6th. In one week 12th. Deadlines at 15th. Stop going so fast, time, please.

Right now, as I think about it, I had such an eventful holidays. I absolutely love the tattoo I got, extremely happy about the theory exam for a driving licence and a bit disappointed about IELTS exam results, but at least it is enough.

last

rašysiu lietuviškai nes vat noriu
neapžvelginėsiu metų nes vat yra video

vakar prisiminiau kas yra nemiga
vieną akimirką žiūrėjau pro langą ir atrodė kad matau ryškiai žybsinčią žvaigždę
visad galvojau kad ten šiaurinė žvaigždė
nukreipus mintis ties teigiamais sapnais valandėlei pamiršau
kai gražūs sapnai manęs neaplankė
prisiminiau žvaigždę
jos nebebuvo

jokių pasižadėjimų nerašysiu
nes žinau kad neįvykdysiu

nebekartosiu kad viską turiu pasiimt iš šios akimirkos
nes veiksmai norint tai padaryti
atima daugiau jėgų negu galimybė visa prisiminti

pasirodo esu visiškai priklausoma nuo kitų žmonių laimės
arba skausmo

man labai nepatinka kableliai
todėl jų čia nė kvapo

nežinau kuo kvepės 2014
tikiuosi juodai baltom vaivorykštėm ir skraidančiais vienaragiais

atrodo mano gyvenimas vienas didelis tūsas
atrodo

procrastination is my middle name.

at least i love the header of my blog for the first time.

war

i want to be skinny

i want to have a talent

i want to feel beautiful

i want somebody to love me

i want somebody to want me

i want to be able to write poems

i want to forget memories i don't like

i want to be able to learn everything i need to

i want to have a tattoo and not doubt about it

i want to look at myself and don't feel disgusted

i want to feel comfortable in my own skin

i want to have smile that brightens everyone's day

i want to remember the memories i am fascinated of

i want to live in a house 

where every single clothing would have its handle

where bedroom window faces east

where porch faces west

where walls would be covered in paintings

where the music would have an amazing quality and wouldn't annoy others

where the room full of books would be covered in mattresses and candles

i’m jealous
of your pillows
and of your sheets

i want to hear
the sound
of your heartbeat

not so jolly

I am Christmas Grinch. I hate Christmas. I don't even have a Christmas tree up yet. I have no idea why I am like that.
Today is my day without facebook. I feel so free. I love days like this. Had so much time for myself.
This seems such a negative post, but I swear, right now, I'm about to go out with my girls to have a girls-night-out (wow, such vocabulary) and feel relaxed. Even though I still have some tests to write on Monday, I can officially start my holidays tonight. Hope you all have a wonderful and snowy Christmas :) Sincerely, the girl, who does not like Christmas.