Tuesday, 20 October 2015

From fairy tale to horror story

It's probably a really bad idea to write a blog post when you're in the library, but I spent 5 hours here today and I need a break. Everyone around me will probably think that I'm writing a lab report or an essay, but hey ho. I really really really wanted to publish a post on 28th of September, because it was kind of an 1 year anniversary of me being on my own in England. And I had loads of different thoughts what to write, like, to sum up my whole year. But as you can see, that didn't happen. And I'm certain that had loads of things to tell you guys after that, but right now I can't remember a thing.
Quite a few things happened the past week, but I'm not sure I want to get into this, since my blog is kind of public.
I realized something really important and rather pathetic. I am unable to love myself if there's no one around loving me. Yep, that is literally like smacking down my confidence levels, but it's true. (And I'm not talking about friendship kind of love or mother-daughter kind of love.) And even though I realized it while being completely wasted, I'm sober now and I can confirm that this state of mind is getting to me way too quickly. For some of you this might make no sense whatsoever. I'm guessing for the most of you. But to be honest, I can't feel comfortable in my own skin unless someone would show me how to do it.
Ohh, this is getting rather depressing. Perhaps I should go.
I will insert some pictures from that week, just so I could look back on this and remember what I was all about, because for the really old posts, where I didn't insert any actual pictures from my phone, I have no clue what I'm talking about.
















I know my room is a mess, the order of these photos is a mess, BUT YOU SHOULD SEE MY LIFE.

OK GUYS, i was just looking through my computer to see if I've got Back to the future, CAUSE IT'S BACK TO THE FUTURE DAY, and I found a video from 2014 summer. accurate one, sorry, lithuanian. The time I was free and careless.

video