Thursday, 12 February 2015

my eyes hurt

you know what I just realized. I spent this whole day not saying a word to anyone. I just came back to my room and even though it's full of pictures of my friends, it's so empty. I think I had enough of 'my alone time'. I can't wait to move in with a few of my new friends and have these BBQs in the garden. And I can't wait to have morning coffee and toast in the kitchen at the table with my guurls.
Yes I talk to people online, but now I realize how different it actually is. People need other people.

I've never been like really sad or angry to be alone on a Valentine's day. But to be honest, I always thought that when I will come to UK and start my uni life, it will all be different. Remember, 'new people, new experiences' that crap. Well, you know what. Most of the people here are even worse than I thought. We all know UK is kinda famous of its duck face hoes and guys, who say you are beautiful just to get you to be, right? Well I did not think there's so many of them.

This video kinda helped me a little bit. Just for a few moments. Then I opened a bottle of cider and it all went down again.

And I'm really sorry that I didn't smile back to the guy in the elevator, just because I was so pissed at the world.

Wednesday, 4 February 2015


I was about to start writing that I believe it's the first time I haven't updated you in so long, but I checked and that's a lie.
I just do not know what to write about. I cannot feel that connection with my blog anymore.
For example, the only different thing on my mind right now is weight-loss ( different, because I feel that Uni and work is already boring to me, so I can only imagine how it is to you). And somehow I feel that I can't talk about weight-loss on here at all. I tried to do it one time, and I started to feel happy, talk about it with my friends. Discuss my goals. And then life happened and I didn't reach those goals. And then I felt as if I'm a failure. I can honestly tell you, that there has been some times back in Lithuania, where I stood up and left 'gatherings' with my friends just because I felt I was judged. Even though I probably wasn't. There's a good saying that I should really remember more often. "You stop worrying about what others think of you when you realize how rarely they do it".
I couldn't get back on track for almost two years and you can imagine, how disappointing it was to me.
I have February goals and it has been really good for these 4 days. Yet again, I do not want to jinx it, so I'm not revealing them, even though it's my blog and should be able to write what I want.

Sometimes I really hate inspirational picture-quotes just because most of the time they are so cliche, but other times you just need it.