Saturday, 18 June 2016

alone and lonely

I'm sitting here with a candle lit by my side and listening to the new Opia's song while holding back my tears. The past week required a lot of energy, my parents came to visit me. To see how I'm doing, to see England's cities and you know, be with family. But today, this Saturday, June 18th, 2016, they went back home. To add to that, my very good friend/flatmate left for quite a few weeks. City of Colors festival was happening today, and I realised that all of my other good friends left as well. Basically, I realised how I alone I can become so easily. Everyone else is either busy, working or having their own problems.
I remember when summer time used to be a thing I would look forward the most. The freedom, the warm evenings doing nothing, just chilling somewhere in the park with your mates. And I remember when I used to love being alone, doing my own thing, like going to town, exploring new places, reading books and people-watching. But now, I have literally no plans till October, when a new year of uni will start. The only thing on my agenda right now is work. When did that happen? Like, is that all there is after uni? Work and occasional party/birthday/day out ? I don't want to do that. I don't want to live like this. I wanna go places, see the world, fall in love, make out, dance to beautiful music, eat delicious food. Not work my whole life, pay rent, stay in the same spot, just because it's the easier option.